Love

...watched a movie called "Cashback"... very slow... different... perception of what beauty is...
it ended with these few lines....

"...once upon a time I wanted to know what love was... love is there if you want it to be.. you just have to see that it is wrapped in beauty and hidden away between the seconds of your life.
If you don't stop for a minute, you might miss it!"

Just wanted to share these lines with who ever reads it.

Promises are meant to be broken

Is life complicated or the way we think and take it along makes it tht way??.. or is tht life all abt??
Sometimes u wish life could be simpler and u could breathe easy... but as u solve one problem of ur life, another crops up.
I guess I have a special knack for tripping and falling into complicated situations where it gets messy by the time i'm out of it!! Every time i'm out, i promise myself to steer away from it, n suddenly i realise i have already taken a few steps to fall into the next one...
Today, again i make a promise to keep myself away from all these things- till i break it!!

Alone!!

I have never felt so lonely in my life!!! I have people around me all the time in my college but still i don't feel at home.. Like my four years in engg college was an important phase which brought a huge change in me and my perspective... looks like my time in the mba school has been and will be the second phase which will change me... Yes, I'll become a manager.. but who cares.. we have enough already!
Since a last few weeks, I have tried to understand myself.. my behaviour pattern... Why I act in certain ways... Its like I have joined a rehabilitation center where I have to curb my natural instincts because its wrong... I can understand how an addicted smoker feels when he/she tries to give it up!! Well if you thinking what my addiction is, either you can guess or you have to read the entire post and find if i have written it.
Coming back to my loneliness, the reason behind it is my incapability to share with someone what I have learnt about myself.. It feels like u r in a matrix where everything around is fake and has been created to dupe you... to make you feel worse.. its like standing at the crossing of the busiest street in the city at the peak hour and people passing by, some brushing past with a smile and some with a scorn on their fresh faces... but you don't know what the hell are you doing there because you don't know anyone out there!
I have retreated into my cocoon, thats my room... where i have my loneliness as my companion( main aur meri tanhai ).. but I enjoy this... It helps me get away from all the chaos and noise around me... the worst thing is my mood is controlled by my feelings and i cant fake it...
I am tired now... tired of myself... I want to change myself... I desperately need to.. and i'm looking for something now.. i need to rekindle certain things within me.. coz without them i have become a robot!